The driver who shouldn’t drive

My wife saw something yesterday that absolutely boggles my mind.  While I think there are a LOT of drivers who shouldn’t drive (uh hum – most of them); this scenario is absolutely ridiculous.

She was driving along when she saw a Geo something-or-other with a Student Transportation sign on top.  While it should be noted that a Geo by itself is probably too dangerous for the transportation of students, what comes next is far worse than the fact that the car in question is a Geo. 

The license plates on the car looked a lot like this:

For those of you who aren’t sure why that’s a big deal – let me tell you why:
THOSE PLATES ARE ONLY ISSUED TO DRIVERS WHO HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR DUI MORE THAN ONCE!

This driver should not be driving kids to school! 

Normally I like to think MOST of my posts are funny, this is NOT.  This is more than a traffic fail, this is a society fail.  It’s bad enough that the only requirement to be a school bus driver is that you can see above the wheel; now we’re allowing people who have been arrested for driving under the influence to transport our kids to school? 

Our lawmakers and our school administrations should be ashamed.

The rapid-fire lane changer guy

I was driving yesterday when I experienced something that I rarely see.  The guy that is seemingly addicted to lane changing.  You may have seen this guy a time or two, he’s the one who switches lanes like it’s his job.  He’s serious about it too, he won’t stop until he’s in the front of the pack.  Except, he’s not a good enough driver to GET to the front of the pack.

He’s an entertaining (yet utterly annoying) guy on the road, he’ll switch lanes on the highway 8 or 10 times in a mile stretch.  He SEEMS like he’s in a hurry, but really he’s just an idiot who refuses to follow someone; regardless of if that person is going a good speed.

What makes this guy blog-worthy is the way he drives in general.  He switches lanes, that’s a given based on the title of the post and the prior two paragraphs; but more annoying than that is his inability to relax a little.  He’s constantly tailgating, he switches lanes as soon as he thinks he MAY be able to pass you; then as soon as he realizes he can’t pass you, he hits his brakes and swerves back behind you.  This guy is the definition of a traffic FAIL.

The invisible snow

When winter in Ohio comes, it’s inevitable that you’ll see these idiots that seemingly forget how to drive as soon as a little snow touches the ground.  I’ve gotten used to that.  What I’ll never get used to, and shouldn’t have to; are the people who hear about how it’s going to snow and they immediately drive as if the blizzard is here.
I’m sure you’ve seen these people before. 
It gets cold, the weather man tells us how we’ll get snow; and immediately people drive as if the world is ending.  Why does this happen!?  The snow isn’t here yet, drive like normal!
Almost as bad are the people who start driving as if we have a foot of snow when it’s barely even flurrying.  If the snow isn’t sticking and accumulating, chances are you can continue to drive at your normal pace.

The 4-wheel drive guy…

It’s finally winter in Central Ohio, which means…  You guessed it, MORE TRAFFIC FAILS!

I can sympathize with people driving cautiously in snowy, slick conditions; you should.  I’m also okay with people who want to drive a little faster than the rest of the herd, typically I’m one of those people.  What I can’t stand, however; is the 4-wheel drive guy who thinks he’s invincible because all 4 of his wheels obtain power from the vehicle’s drivetrain.

Regardless of how heavy your car is, or how many wheels drive your car; you are still subject to the conditions of the road.

Driving excessively fast when the roads are slick and icy is stupid no matter what you drive.

It never gets old to see some moron fly by me on an icy road going way too fast in his 4WD truck.  Why?  Because inevitably I’ll see his sad face a mile or two up the road sideways in a ditch on his cell phone, calling AAA for a tow.  I don’t wish harm of any kind to anybody, regardless of how dumb they are; but I do smile a little when I see (almost) instant karma.

The Matching Donuts

I saw something today that I can honestly say I’ve never seen in my 11 and 1/2 years of driving.  I was driving on the looping interstate in Central Ohio that everyone knows as 270 when all of a sudden traffic started creeping to a 40 mph pace for no apparent reason.  I then noticed break lights, heard some honking and started to think there was an accident.

There was no accident, but there was a car full of what appeared to be immigrants, driving with 2 donuts/spares on their car.  Both rear tires had donuts.  Really.  I can’t make this stuff up.

That wasn’t enough to justify this post, what really bothered me was that they decided to enter an interstate in those conditions.  These morons were driving 35 mph in a 65 mph zone with two spare tires. 

I realize that you’re supposed to be able to go up to 55 or 60 mph with a single spare tire, but with two of them you should not be allowed to drive at all.  If you can’t afford to go to your local used tire shop and pickup a couple of decent tires; you don’t deserve to share the road with the rest of us.  Period.

The (Wrong) Turn Lane

Have you ever been in traffic and noticed someone in a non-turning lane with their turn signal on?  Worse yet, have you seen someone in the middle of an intersection (green light, nonetheless) holding up traffic for hundreds of yards until someone will allow this idiot to turn (again, from the wrong lane…)?

Why does this guy think he can just hold up traffic for 2 blocks until someone decides to let him in?  If you’re that out of touch with where you’re going that you don’t get in the proper lane in time to turn, accept the fact that you’re a traffic failure and continue driving until you can safely turn around and return to your destination without obstructing traffic.

Sitting in traffic and making everyone else wait because you’re in such a hurry is not fair to other, more attentive drivers; like me.  You should be ticketed for such behavior.

The Slowest Driver EVER

I realize not everyone immediately goes when the light turns green, but this is ridiculous.  I was behind someone today at a stop light, and when the light turned green they took a few seconds to get going.  I didn’t slam on my horn like the little devil on my shoulder told me to, instead I waited and sure enough they started to move.  However, they took off at a pace which would upset a snail. 

I know that you’re not supposed to floor it until you reach the speed limit, but certainly you should be expected to get in gear so that the other drivers can also get through the light that they’ve so patiently awaited.

If you’re not willing to push that long pedal on the right hard enough to get through the light in under a minute, perhaps you should take up a more pedestrian means of transportation such as walking or riding a bicycle. 

Where do these people come from?

The Last Minute Merger

We as a society have become so caught up in the now.  Everything's instant.  We're constantly on our cell phones texting, calling, checking email, reading news, checking weather, etc.  I get that, and as a technology consultant who's career revolves around collaboration and content management, I appreciate and embrace it.However, there comes a point where we need to slow down a little.  I get in this situation pretty much daily, but it got to the point today where it took a serious dose of self-calming to not initiate road rage.  Picture this:  You're in the lane you need to be in to enter the on-ramp for a highway, and dozens of other patient drivers are in front of or behind you.  Some self-righteous idiot talking on a cell phone with two kids, void of seatbelts speedily merges right in front of you and then slams on their brakes as to avoid a collision with the driver in front of them.  
Surely this person could've merged in somewhere along the line, and safely; but no, they're more important than you so they had to narrowly avoid an accident (and potentially cause one further back in line) to merge in at the very last second to get onto the highway.

Why is this acceptable behavior?  If this were a checkout line at the grocery store and this idiot jumped right in front of you just before your turn to check-out, he/she would be ridiculed and told to get to the back of the line. 

Next time you think this is going to happen, safely creep up a little closer to the person in front of you and force this idiot to rethink their driving habits.

The Rubber Neck

I've had enough.  So what, someone got pulled over or has a flat tire, KEEP DRIVING.  You've all seen these people, the ones who will slow down traffic for miles to see why the person on the side of the road got pulled over.  It's ridiculous.  Traffic is difficult enough without idiots slowing down to 40 in a 65 MPH zone to see what's going on. 

Even worse than the rubberneckers is what I experienced last night while driving home:
An idiot of a cop pulled someone over, and poorly I might add.  This cop had at least a car's width worth of shoulder to pull into to stay out of traffic, but he must've been in a hurry to harass this driver because at least 1/3 of his cruiser was out in the middle of the left lane on a busy looping interstate in Central Ohio.

Unless the driver was smoking a crack pipe with a gun in hand, there is NO reason whatsoever that this law enforcement officer couldn't have pulled far enough off of the road to keep the OTHER drivers on the road safe.  THAT, my friends; is a traffic FAIL.

The American Idle

And yes, the spelling of the title was intentional...
Have you ever pulled up to a stop light and witnessed someone singing their heart out as if all of America was watching?  I laugh a bit inside everytime I witness this, although there are times when I'm guilty; I'm sure we've all had our moment where we just had to sing along.  But sometimes you see someone doing this and you wonder if they realize they're in public...
Picture this: An old man, in an early 90's Mitsubishi Eclipse with the windows down, jamming along to Eminem & Rihanna with the volume high enough to be heard over my music with the windows up.  Not the worst thing you've heard?  How about if I told you he was singing the part of Rihanna...  This guy defines the title of my blog: Traffic Fail.
(Thanks to Kimberly for suggesting this post.)

The $50,000 turn signal

Turn signals are a key instrument of driving. They allow the driver to notify nearby drivers of the need to either switch lanes or turn onto another road.
Wait, why am I explaining what turn signals are for, that's one of the first things you learn in drivers ed...
Have you ever been driving and all of a sudden a guy in a (insert luxury car here) pulls up next to and slightly in front of you; and you know he wants in, but no signal? Why does this guy think he can break all the rules and courtesies of driving?  Do we owe him something? 

I'll tell you how I treat this guy, and it's up to you whether or not you want to do the same...  I do everything in my power to prevent this guy from merging.  If you can't take 1/2 of a second out of your busy day to hit the little lever next to your heated, leather-wrapped steering wheel to notify me of your merging intentions; you don't deserve to merge in front of me.

The 4-way stop guy

When sitting at a 4-way stop, occasionally i come across what i call "4-way stop guy." I'm sure you've been around this guy, he's the one who takes way too long to go when it's his turn.
The world would be a better place, and I would be home sooner if that guy would pay attention and go.
Don't be 4-way stop guy, or girl.

The Purpose

After 11 years of driving in Ohio traffic, I've made the bold decision to start blogging about the continued lack of common sense exhibited by Ohio drivers. I don't honestly expect anyone to waste time reading this, it's primarily going to be of use for me to vent about the daily 60 minutes or so I spend in my 04 Honda Accord wondering where "these people" come from.
Enjoy the ride!